The Things Larry is Not Allowed to do at the SCP Foundation

Things Larry is Not Allowed to do at the SCP Foundation
 * 1) Exist.
 * 2) Not exist.
 * 3) Anything in between.
 * 4) Assault anyone/anything with his mouth.
 * 5) Bully SCP-049. (LEAVE HIM ALONE.)
 * 6) Larry is to be escorted by  two four  six twenty heavily armed guards with stun batons.
 * 7) Under no circumstances is SCP-079 to be told of Larry's existence.
 * 8) Cthulhu is not a SCP.
 * 9) Neither is R'lyeh.
 * 10) What the fuck is a Kadath?
 * 11) Larry is NOT permitted to interact with any SCP with an object class above Euclid.
 * 12) SCP-158 is to remove his soul daily, for examination.
 * 13) Have any medication whatsoever.
 * 14) Go to  Earth low  Earth orbit Sol in general.
 * 15) Meet SCP-732.
 * 16) Exist on the same planet as SCP-732.
 * 17) Know about SCP-732.
 * 18) Larry is not a researcher at the SCP foundation.
 * 19) Larry is not a researcher at the SCP foundation.
 * 20) Larry is not a researcher at the SCP foundation.
 * 21) Who the fuck keeps telling you he is?
 * 22) Under no circumstances is Larry to be exposed to a low pitch remix of 'Safety Dance'.
 * 23) Larry is  not from the future.
 * 24) Under no circumstances shall Larry get 'Back to the future'.
 * 25) Nor shall SCP-2337 attempt to help him in this endeavor.
 * 26) Once a year, Larry shall be allowed access to the furry convention of his choice, and multiple automatic firearms. It's best not to ask why.
 * 27) Larry is not and never was a member of the 'SCP Speed Dating' program sponsored by Dr. Bright.
 * 28) Larry is  not smarter than research personnel.
 * 29) Any D-Class that manage to find out about Larry are to be subjected to five years of daily torture via SCP-239 until they admit that Larry does not exist. They are then allowed to meet him.
 * 30) NEVER TO COME IN CONTACT WITH SCP-113. PERIOD. I DON'T CARE HOW FUNNY IT IS.
 * 31) Go to Jacksonville Florida.
 * 32) Go to Florida at all.
 * 33) Convince someone that he is in fact a god.
 * 34) Convince someone he is an Elder god.
 * 35) Convince someone he is an outer god.
 * 36) Once a week, SCP-243 will be exposed to his toilet, to see what he does.
 * 37) Snakes are never to be put in his cell.
 * 38) Unless you really want to.
 * 39) Larry is not allowed to build anything, ever, period.
 * 40) Dr. Glass is also not allowed in his cell after what happened last time.
 * 41) SCP-682 is not a spaceship. Stop.
 * 42) SCP-682 is not an elder god either.
 * 43) Under no circumstances is Larry to refer to anyone as 'Scotty'.
 * 44) Scotty.
 * 45) SCP-076 is never to know about Larry.
 * 46) Larry is never to know about SCP-076.
 * 47) SCP-343 IS NOT TO KNOW ABOUT LARRY EITHER.
 * 48) Larry can, however, be told about Project Heimdall.
 * 49) Bagels are food, not flashlights.
 * 50) Stop.
 * 51) In the event Dr. Bright comes into contact with Larry, all SCPs at the site will be re-classifed as Apollyon, and all on-site personnel evacuated until further notice.
 * 52) Larry is never to learn about [REDACTED]
 * 53) He is not allowed to pet any animals either.
 * 54) Or have [REDACTED] with them.
 * 55) Seriously, what the fuck, stop.
 * 56) If any D-Class are to come into contact with him, they must be Cironeans.
 * 57) Female ones.
 * 58) The window to his containment cell is also to pretended to be shut while any D-Class are in it.
 * 59) Dr. Glass says numbers 56 - 58 is an amazing idea.
 * 60) UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS LARRY TO MEET ANY MEMBERS OF CIRONEAN ROYALTY.
 * 61) Dr. Bright needs to stop submitting Larry as a SCP-001 candidate.
 * 62) Or an Apollyon.
 * 63) Dr. Bright is to have his memory wiped of all memories of Larry's existence.
 * 64) Sly Marbo is not real.
 * 65) Any attempts to create Sly Marbo will be punished by [DATA EXPUNGED]
 * 66) If Larry is caught masturbating in his cell,  Dr. Glass would like the recording for examination.
 * 67) There is not and will never be a 'Things Larry is Allowed to do at the Foundation', as he is not allowed to do anything.
 * 68) Dr. Glass continues to submit a document titled 'Things Larry can be Forced to do at the Foundation', that the O5 council will continue to ignore.
 * 69) Larry is  not allowed to attempt to kill SCP-682.
 * 70) SCP-682 is not allowed to meet Larry ever again, due to what happened last time.
 * 71) Larry is  not allowed to drink his own semen.
 * 72) Dr. Glass is not allowed to edit this article anymore, due to numerous strikethroughs of the word 'not'.
 * 73) Dr. Bright is also not allowed to edit this article.
 * 74) Larry is not allowed to meet SCP-3999.
 * 75) SCP-3999 does not exist.